yesterday is over and a new day begins

I want to thank all of you for your kind words and your prayers for Howie. I brought him home last evening. He slept all the way home..so much different than the ride to the Vet when Howie had his head sticking out the rear window trying to breath in all the smells...he makes me smile! When I got to the Vet's the assistant helped me to lift him in the back of my Jeep. I am thinking once I get home how am I going to get him out of the Jeep by myself...Tim was still at work. We get home and I open the back door of the Jeep..Howie moves to the back side door..so I open that door...he tries to get over the console and move to the front seat. He seemed very confused but at first I thought he was mad at me for taking him to the Vet and making him have the surgery! I left him in the Jeep and went in the house and got a treat..a piece of pretzel which he loves! I showed him the pretzel and he was not interested in it...he is sitting in the driver's seat so I take his leash and tell him that we have to go...now I am getting worried but he jumps out of the Jeep and makes a bee line for the door of our home. He comes in and finds a comfy spot and falls asleep. He was sound asleep until my little nephew knocked on the kitchen door..well Howie was up so fast and running to the door barking...Ahh my Howie is back and he is ok! He was then like his old hungry self..he ate so much last night even though the Vet said to feed him a "light meal"..that wasn't happening! It was great to see him finally eat like he did before..like a vacuum cleaner! I slept downstairs with him until about 2 a.m. and then I went up to bed. Around 7 a.m. Howie CAME UP THE STAIRS to get me up to feed him! SO he seems to be back to being my Howie. We are waiting on the biopsy report which should be back this Friday or Monday. Once we know the results we can decide on treatment. I am praying for the best news but I made peace with the fact that we may be dealing with control vs cure. The Vet told me that his lymph nodes are swollen..I think that was her way to soften the blow of the news we are waiting to hear. I know that if it is in his lymph nodes that is not a good thing. Today is a new day and I had my breakdown yesterday when I was alone with my thoughts. I lashed out at God which I should not have done but my emotions were on edge. And Tim and I are feeling so guilty...we are having our "what if" moments..what if we would have taken him to the Vet sooner... what if? Howie never showed any signs that something was wrong until last week and we called the Vet and made the appointment.

I have decided there is nothing I can do to change the fact that my Howie dog may have cancer but I am not going to let it ruin the time I have with him. I pray we have a lot of time left to love him and have him in our life...so we wait.

Linda, I read your blog about your Grand Dog, Brady. I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with the same thing we are...You and your family and Brady are in my prayers. I wanted to leave you a message or email you yesterday but I understand.....

Howie has always been a dog that never let the burdens of life get him down..even when he had his old life..his life before we rescued him. Howie has taught me a lesson and I think it may just help me to get through this tough time..I will not let my burdens bring me down..I can dwell on the "what ifs" or the "why me's" But I won't.......I will be like Howie and stick my head out the window and smell the life around me and wag my tail and LIVE! And hope someone gives me a treat!

I will be back to blogging about life at The Brickhouse Craft Shop and I hope you stop by for some PORCH SITTING!

For today please give an extra treat to your pets and an extra hug!

~~Patti~~